Friday, May 1, 2009

Happy Birthday, Bryn!

Eight years ago this very minute, I was in a hospital bed in Manchester, England holding my precious new daughter, Bryn Kelly. Todd and Jacey were back home after spending time with us and various friends from the Expat group were popping in and out throughout the afternoon. For the most part, though, we were alone. After holding my breath for 9 long months, I could finally exhale. After 2 miscarriages, a Down's Syndrome scare, and daily blood thinner injections, my healthy little girl was here (although the staff at the hospital told me that Bryn was NOT a name for a girl).
As the years have passed, I have wrestled with certain feelings regarding that time period. When the miscarriages occurred, Todd and I were obviously devastated and completely heartbroken. The first mc was harder to comprehend because it was such a shock. In addition to mourning the baby we lost, we were mourning the dreams we had for that baby. We were so happy that Jacey would have a sibling just 15 months younger than she is. We had already begun to think about names and I had bought some adorable gender-neutral outfits for the baby. We had a plan and that plan was suddenly ripped away from us. I was grief stricken and felt utterly hopeless. However, each day spent with Bryn has been filled with immeasurable joy. She is kind, smart, loving, compassionate, beautiful, sensitive, empathetic, silly, thoughtful, and a dream come true. I have come to terms with the sorrow from the miscarriages because without them, I would not have the honor of being Bryn's Mommy, or Tori's or Devin's for that matter.

Happy Birthday Bryn! Daddy and I love you so very much.


Jill said...

happy birthday to your big girl

Melissa said...

Thanks for letting me celebrate with you the beautiful gift that Bryn is! It amazes me how the excruciating and nearly all-consuming-hard-to-even-breathe grieving of miscarriage can overtime cause a metamorphis in the heart to the point that we are actually thankful for the experience. How it gives our life a depth and weaves a more beautiful pattern in the tapestry that is life! Love you, Mad. Your girls are beautiful and their zest for life beams through. BTW . . . your picture on your blog is stunning!